Have you ever wondered why so many mentorships are long on hope and short on happiness?
Perhaps that happens because they are too often like a forced relationship. “Bill, I want you to mentor Jerry, one of our newbies from the class of 2024.”
That approach has all the earmarks of a failed relationship from the get-go. It’s a lot different than assigning a rookie to join an established team where relationship-building is already part of the culture. Left unchecked, it can lead to what The Wall Street Journal said is the underutilization of new graduates.
Let’s all step back for a moment and look at mentoring through a different lens.
Mentoring isn’t about advising which lunches are favorites in the cafeteria or how to secure a prime parking spot. That’s just information.
How much better would the chance for success be if a newbie and an experienced employee find each other naturally over time? Building chemistry and working side-by-side on something that will add value to the enterprise.
Mentoring works if both sides are invested in what happens. It’s like a successful marriage. Connecting with a mentor is not something a new person can accomplish on their first day, month or perhaps even their first year. Real mentoring is not for the moment. It’s intended to last longer.
And, you can have more than one mentor. For example, many people have an “outside mentor” and an “inside mentor,” a trusted adviser who is not a fellow employee.
Meaningful mentoring (or lack thereof) says a lot about a company. The best time to find out if a commitment to mentoring is part of a company you’re considering is in advance of starting a job. LinkedIn is a great resource to connect with people who have worked there. It also offers the opportunity to join specialized groups that can speed up the integration of new employees. An HR professional I know likes to say, “People fail because they don’t fit the culture.” If you want to fit the culture, then take every opportunity to study and understand the culture of your workplace immediately.
He says that LinkedIn is also an excellent resource for finding your way to an “outside mentor” who can provide some balance through a fresh opinion. That person may be a leader or manager who never worked where you do now, or they may be a former employee of your company. The key is they are willing to share knowledge with a young person they believe has potential. By participating in professional events or one of LinkedIn’s specialized groups, a new employee can definitely grow their network. It’s surprising how many seniors will help a younger person who says, “I’d really value your opinion about…”
Think about this. The mentor you discover (or who may be assigned to you) is older than you are, sometimes much older. They know the company and its way of doing business. You, on the other hand, probably know a lot more than that person does when it comes to AI or what Gen Z is talking about this week. As in most relationships that grow, your mentor needs you as their mentor just as much as you need them as your mentor.
I have had two mentoring relationships I really value. During the years I was president of a four-office PR firm, I had a mentor who was 10 years older, an employee but not an officer of our company. On the other hand, he was the essence of a trusted adviser whose level-headed judgment and confidentiality carried the day during challenging times. The other is a person more than 40 years younger than me who has patiently worked to help me be less overwhelmed by rapidly changing technology while I have opened up new business relationships for him.
The best possible mentoring situation is when you are useful to your mentor, not just one more burden that person has to carry into the workplace daily. You each add value to the relationship. Teach that old dog some new tricks. Help your mentor understand how a digital native works and thinks. Everybody benefits from that. Here are some additional thoughts you may want to pass on to a work associate.
- Mentors can help reenergize you when you’re having a bad day. And, a new employee can do that for a mentor who is up the line.
- At your next team meeting, run a suggestion you want to make past your mentor. Ask for guidance in advance.
- Assuming your mentor has a strong ethical compass, that person can help you avoid a bad mistake in judgment.
- A good mentor can ensure that your work meets company standards. There isn’t any free lunch. You have to earn it every day.
- A mentor can help you recover from failure. If you are an employee who strives to add value in your workplace, then there will inevitably come a time when you will confront failure as the price you pay for having the courage to try something new. A good mentor will help to keep your spirits up when times get tough.
- You will find that people with more experience are willing to help newcomers. Always circle back after the fact to let them know how things worked out.
Is there a way for you to help someone do their job better? That’s the essence of real mentoring. Paul O’Neill, the late CEO of Alcoa, told me: “We try to get better every day.” Doesn’t that hit the nail on the head?
Mentoring is about helping somebody else get better. I can’t think of anything more rewarding than that. Everybody benefits.
The Greater Cleveland PRSA Chapter’s mentoring award, now in its 22nd year, is named in honor of Davis Young, APR, Fellow PRSA. He was also a recipient of the first Best of Silver Anvil Award and is a former chairperson of the PRSA Counselors Academy. His most recent book, “Your Field Guide for Whatever Field You Choose,” is available free to anyone and can be downloaded at www.dyauthorandspeaker.com.
Photo credit: lightfield studios
